It's the year long awaited, when you can walk the halls with the confidence of knowing no one else is above you and the academia looking easier than junior year. Yeah, funny, none of that is true, or maybe it is, but you will have so much else on your plate it will feel like the hardest year yet.
The first two weeks of my senior year were full of fun moments, the excitement of getting back to school after a long summer of nannying, welcoming a fresh group of students. It's exciting. It's nostalgic. Over the entire year, the thing I found so surprising was the emotion that would take over me when I saw younger students doing things "typical" of their grade level; timid freshman creeping down the halls, sophomore know-it-alls, and juniors taking it all in before their reign. After months of trying to really figure out what this feeling was, I settled on pride and excitement, for how I'd grown and how these girls would grow too.
Stress is key, and learning how to handle it on your own, by far my biggest struggle of the year. I wanted to do everything, spend as much time with my friends as possible, maintain my grades (senioritas is still real, more on that later), work, and meet new people on those terrible college facebook and group chats. This year is all college prep which is basically leaving you to learn how to work in a college setting, my home life reflected that too with my family being at home less and less.
Here's the breakdown on the stress timeline:
First semester is filled with college applications, being worried about scholarships you can't apply for until the next calendar year, passing literature, missing French class, getting accepted into college, extracurriculars, planning spring break (also more on that later), and learning how to be a role model and not a lecturing advisory leader. There's nothing like spontaneously applying to a school in Paris only for the Paris attacks to happen two weeks later, and your rejection due to them a few days following. Despite that, I felt a little spoiled in the college decisions area. My first acceptance was from my number one choice school and came before any of my friends heard back. I will never forget the moment though, that my phone beeped while sitting outside for lunch to welcome me to the Class of 2020.
Second Semester was interesting to say the least. I found that once I had all my acceptances senioritas took over me for a good month or so around February. Although, once the reality of making a decision and financing that decision came to be I spiraled into a constant state of panic. I ended up revisiting two schools that I didn't love and weren't a smart choice for me merely because they were cheaper. In the end, I put down my deposit where my heart was and so far, even though I have yet to really do anything at the school, have not regretted it since. Although, the roommate thing was a bit stressful. A Facebook page or groupchat full of hundreds of people you've never met is quite intimidating, especially when you're looking for someone to live with for the next year. Luckily, I met someone I get along with very well and I am so excited for our year living together!
As far as the whole, turning 18 adult thing of senior year goes, it's not as big of a deal than I expected. The only real difference was me having to fill out forms at the doctor's office. But, as far as independence goes, I did take my first solo vacation and it was the experience of a lifetime.
While it wasn't completely solo, I stayed with a friend and her family, I planned, paid for, and experienced a lot of new things on my own. I went to Boston for the figure skating world championships, pretty nerdy, I know, but so amazing. I commuted in from the suburbs into a city I've never been to before. Also, note, I've never commuted by train anywhere, so many cool things. A few quick unexpected highlights: I met people my age doing the same thing I was and formed some really cool bonds. I was able to discover a city on my own, a little bit. I left feeling like a much more competent and confident person knowing I could navigate public transit, airports, and new cities on my own. Finally, my wanderlust was reawakened. Seriously, even if it's a small trip like mine was not something international, I would recommend for everyone to go somewhere solo before moving away to college. I feel so much more comfortable now.
Finally, the last two weeks of school...warning, they are absolutely insanely stressful. You are getting graduation party invites left and right while trying to meticulously plan everyday down to the minute so you can get everything done you need to have ready by graduation, plus for me, the AP tests were in the mix of all this. Luckily, as far as academia goes, in my exam bells I only had 1 test, the rest were projects and therefore more relaxed bells in the midst of the crazy event schedule. But, keeping track of what needed to be turned in when was enough to drive me almost to insanity. When you get to the end, you really want to remember every moment but I found myself more just wishing all the moments would end so I could get a full night of sleep and not have to wake up extra early to do my make-up before school.
That being said, a month later, there are memories from those last weeks I will never forget. There's the feeling of sadness being outweighed by pride and joy for myself and my classmates and so much gratitude for my teachers. There are moments where I was running on empty but kept going and am so glad I did because those moments are so precious. And there are continued moments, that remind me of how great I had it for the last four years, how great I will have it for the next four, and how the bonds I made don't break by a few weeks apart even if every time I leave someone now it's with an awkward "see you later, erm, or good luck next year since I don't know when I'll see you next."
So this is to senior year, the most stressful yet the sweetest memory yet,
XOXO
Gretchen
Second Semester was interesting to say the least. I found that once I had all my acceptances senioritas took over me for a good month or so around February. Although, once the reality of making a decision and financing that decision came to be I spiraled into a constant state of panic. I ended up revisiting two schools that I didn't love and weren't a smart choice for me merely because they were cheaper. In the end, I put down my deposit where my heart was and so far, even though I have yet to really do anything at the school, have not regretted it since. Although, the roommate thing was a bit stressful. A Facebook page or groupchat full of hundreds of people you've never met is quite intimidating, especially when you're looking for someone to live with for the next year. Luckily, I met someone I get along with very well and I am so excited for our year living together!
As far as the whole, turning 18 adult thing of senior year goes, it's not as big of a deal than I expected. The only real difference was me having to fill out forms at the doctor's office. But, as far as independence goes, I did take my first solo vacation and it was the experience of a lifetime.
While it wasn't completely solo, I stayed with a friend and her family, I planned, paid for, and experienced a lot of new things on my own. I went to Boston for the figure skating world championships, pretty nerdy, I know, but so amazing. I commuted in from the suburbs into a city I've never been to before. Also, note, I've never commuted by train anywhere, so many cool things. A few quick unexpected highlights: I met people my age doing the same thing I was and formed some really cool bonds. I was able to discover a city on my own, a little bit. I left feeling like a much more competent and confident person knowing I could navigate public transit, airports, and new cities on my own. Finally, my wanderlust was reawakened. Seriously, even if it's a small trip like mine was not something international, I would recommend for everyone to go somewhere solo before moving away to college. I feel so much more comfortable now.
Finally, the last two weeks of school...warning, they are absolutely insanely stressful. You are getting graduation party invites left and right while trying to meticulously plan everyday down to the minute so you can get everything done you need to have ready by graduation, plus for me, the AP tests were in the mix of all this. Luckily, as far as academia goes, in my exam bells I only had 1 test, the rest were projects and therefore more relaxed bells in the midst of the crazy event schedule. But, keeping track of what needed to be turned in when was enough to drive me almost to insanity. When you get to the end, you really want to remember every moment but I found myself more just wishing all the moments would end so I could get a full night of sleep and not have to wake up extra early to do my make-up before school.
That being said, a month later, there are memories from those last weeks I will never forget. There's the feeling of sadness being outweighed by pride and joy for myself and my classmates and so much gratitude for my teachers. There are moments where I was running on empty but kept going and am so glad I did because those moments are so precious. And there are continued moments, that remind me of how great I had it for the last four years, how great I will have it for the next four, and how the bonds I made don't break by a few weeks apart even if every time I leave someone now it's with an awkward "see you later, erm, or good luck next year since I don't know when I'll see you next."
So this is to senior year, the most stressful yet the sweetest memory yet,
XOXO
Gretchen
